Family and friends

Cancer affects everyone close to the patient, particularly family members and friends. In fact, stress levels in spouses, partners and caregivers can be as high as those in patients.

To help family members and friends deal with your illness:

• Explain to them what is going on every step of the way so they know what to expect. You can even involve them in your discussions with your doctor or nurse.
• Give them a task. For example, ask them to make dinner or run errands.
• A book such as Day by Day (PDF) can help them understand what to expect while you are going through chemotherapy and how they can aid in your chemotherapy journey. To get a copy of the book, ask for it at your clinic resource centre, or order it online.

Children

Children will often sense that something is wrong before you tell them. It is important to include and inform the children in your life about your cancer journey. When talking to children remember to talk at their level of understanding and be prepared to repeat the information. Be open and honest. Make sure to tell them that they did nothing to cause the cancer and that they can't catch it from you.

Talking with children about your illness can be very challenging. You may want to ask for some help. Having a healthcare professional in the room can allow the child to focus his or her anger on the doctor or nurse rather than on you. Also the doctor or nurse can answer any questions the child might have.

Employer and co-workers

If chemotherapy will interfere with your ability to do your job, then you will probably have to tell your boss and possibly some people who work closely with you. Before starting chemotherapy, ask your doctor if you will be able to continue working. Find out about your company's policies regarding illness, such as sick leave, disability and medical insurance. Many companies allow employees to work from home several days of the week. Find out whether you can set up a schedule that will be flexible to accommodate your treatments.

Your employer, co-worker and possibly clients may need to know if you need to take time off, or if your productivity will be affected. If you're self-employed, you may need to explain the situation to employees and clients.

If you don't know where to begin, or if you're concerned about how your employer will react, start by contacting your human resources department or personnel manager. If you feel your company is not treating you fairly, talk to your healthcare team. They may have any suggestions or resources that can give you a starting point.

The people around you might not always know what to say when you tell them about your chemotherapy. You may consider directing them to these communication tips for caregivers.